RE: I guess no subject
06.24.07 (9:44 am) [edit]I could just turn and love you walk through the corridor of never was true because we are not who you think I am spreading your butter and jam chemistry what you see through a worn-out beaker In this story, there is only one speaker one who was wronged and never knew why one who never, ever cried one that you swore you'd love until you died and one who writes songs about others eyes I could close my eyes and love you walk through the garden of too could to be true because we are what I think you are not a never-ending love knot caught in a reality that will never be dropping the anchor in the middle of the sea. In this story, there is only one version read as a fantasy muddled with delusion red with passion, green with envy blue is for sadness, black for ending
vexed sex
12.28.05 (11:22 pm) [edit]Sex vexed with no regrets pest petered out when wheedled out the issues at hand ban society for deeming me bad or had when really I’m glad that I can fuck with no luck lucky me to be free from your mentality your reality a trivial travesty mapped in monotony monogamy lobotomy…
moving
11.01.05 (10:43 am) [edit]stillness silence hum but hearts still beat drum summon up wants and perfection confectionary sweets will make you fat what are you going to do about that if it is a fact in fact that you won't factor into making you grin or grim either way you still win the ultimate prize surprise of a strifed life strifed as in strive, as in striving as in knitting pulling up and over and down again and up and over and down again but the pattern is change
moved
11.01.05 (10:35 am) [edit]Desire desperate denial that you'll prioritize the other party who is your party fun sunshine careless baring less meanings in the moment when in movement and that's all you need celestial higher ground a sound mind that will be quiet quite hip to have a talking brain to think you're insane to remain somewhere else not part of the group where everyone understand you where you reprimand you disband you and go back to who you are anything in the moment as long as you're in movement
Self deprecation due to desire
11.01.05 (10:31 am) [edit]self loathing loaning yourself to another while you smother yourself with the other or perhaps its because there is no cause only disaster manifested veiled under an appreciation to be alive or perhaps its cause you'll shed as many tears to get affection attention redemption
Lo
04.01.05 (9:48 am) [edit]Lo lost in Kentucky waiting to get lucky meanwhile in style dial her on the phone nobody's home but she's not alone roaming the streets indiscreetly completely comfortable in her own shoes chooses her lifestyle and unending friends that frequently request her company cause she's so lovely.
infatuation
03.18.05 (9:41 am) [edit]unsure of the cure for desire wired yet tired of playing saying you're going to call while I'm falling deeper and deeper steeping in my brew of wanting you
moved
03.13.05 (4:57 pm) [edit]being displaced coerced surfaced emotions desertions of logic as I drank my gin and tonic toxic toxins sins ascend my gaudy body ready for another party to avoid devoid deep void
College Collage
03.06.05 (4:12 pm) [edit]College knowledge acknowledge the ledge pledge to be like everybody else with higher education relation relate in a state of stasis for gracious and kind yet find yourself selfishly fishing for compliments that comply to common norm normal formal forming friendships tips on who to be or who to see never for free
VIRGIN
03.05.05 (6:31 pm) [edit]Material girl is part of the material world whirlwind of events prevents me from explaining my actions reactions subtractions of virginity infinitely finite long night right or wrong lost my thong felt withdrawn but drawn into arms disarms charms chills fills wills willingness wantonness nest fester in my breasts caress undress distress stress finesse finest ass asset assert insert and get to work.
Rotten brain
03.04.05 (12:16 pm) [edit]rotting brain insane in state of paralysis catharsis of genius snaring at the absurd blurb of world perturbed by commerce irreversible convertible and affordable if you just invest one dollar in the vending machine, you have the possibility of becoming the machine creaming with cream on top of your coffee latte please diseased with ease
for my impromptu Valentine
02.17.05 (8:25 pm) [edit]Answers are a given with you smitten with you too good to be true on a bicycle built for two shoo away these feelings dreamings dreaming of us but no fuss no rush rushing adrenaline emphetamine stealing time from mine and yours whom I adores explores exploration a creation a vacation in relation to one another, lover.
Journals are fun
02.08.05 (10:16 pm) [edit]I just found these old poems dated from 1999-2002
Quirks Excerpts
-breeze cheese brie and bread fed to the jive of judgement
-find your goal it lies within your grasp of chopstix
Another poeme
retardation masturbation turn your mind into a station pit stop full of pissing cops monitoring, loitering, soliciting, exploiting your body, your mind, things unkind undivine dividing misguiding systematic palindromes and other drones such as stones cold bold untold how to fold a heart that parts and never waivers to favor a party box or gift wrap that sacks the plastic styrafoam moan for home freedom from fracture of the pasture relaxer instead tighter fighter scream for the writer wriggles and squiggles in fear leering at the honest fondest critic of you.
Philosophy
In a raw hand Above room temperature A cold sediment In a bottomless pit Witholds time and the strength one has within- The ambition of impossibility. A potential underneath the human fear of mud. Mocking perfection Fantastically infinite in evolution. Focus.Focus. DIRECTION. Humming mantras: “Be the rock” – “Be the rock.” Be purely obstinateRecklessly sedate. Dropped in the gutter gut Through the transcending ribs who could not remember the time of Adam past the heart that is meant to feel by the entrails of wantonness left to rot…
RANDOm
BLAH BLAH BLAH life sucks life blows why don’t i die or kill a cow i don’t know who will show the big blow to the doe’s head or foe in the snow. Poor Bambie
Self-inflicted Anger
I hate
& nbsp; &n bsp; I hate
& nbsp; &n bsp; &nb sp; &nbs p; ; I hate
& nbsp; &n bsp; &nb sp; &nbs p; ; & nbsp; &n bsp; The motha-fucka
I will not speak to him again unless he gives me flowers
A red rose
Woos my heart
Scratches beneath the chalkboard
I’m waiting
& nbsp; &n bsp; Impatiently
& nbsp; &n bsp; &nb sp; &nbs p; ; & nbsp; &n bsp; As usual
Living
it bothers me that you’re content with just simple reading
take away
succumb to fantasy
down to your knees bitch
cigarette
cigarette
puff away your pleasures
Insecurity
don’t forgive fat bitch has a niche for recognizing conniving guilty filthy garbage waste out with no haste displace who i am
Running
he who laughs last laughs last no past to pass can change the future computer filled filler fixing the blender of blasted diversity trying not to tee off the big boys on top drop a crop don’t stop rat race keep pace expose face fake lace lingering merging all over the place
dicky has crusted feet…
dicky has crusted feet
that don’t matter though when we meet
i don’t mind
i don’t care
i don’t got no underwear to spare when the glaze of love lust loneliness i come to bear the compromises the masochistic prizes the see-through lies that defies fairytale ties that completed me in my naivete my brevity before my cleavity
DESCRIBE…
jive alive can’t see the hive of all the sweet sugar bees that live in the trees that don’t need to please or tease in order to appease her big burly brat or her big fat jacked cat. do what you want do what you feel you don’t have to turn the moral wheel to heal the heal to have no fear to seal the deal so don’t cry my pet I don't want you to have to get wet.
Effection
people fighting unreminding the things that sit in the deepest pit soul bowl cowl
the fowl on the prowl for it’s prey in the day
High Times
And so I arrive…I’ve got mail. No I don’t. People. People. Pe-op-a-lah
Phon-et-ic
Buddies. Buddies. Wait buddies…
Wiped free elegance Goodbye Dirty cleavage Stripes wild
Collared shaking that I’ve found. What pop? nevermind. Click. Going trekking, eating, stopping, resting Reckless on the gold tile fridge. I had a point.
Still defrosting Hearts unlofting I insert the lovely graham of honey- that flirt.
Breakable abode. Ambidextrous Feeling lustless Just forget it, feed the fetish. where’s the code, sweet throat? Get the honey out, scout. Now I’m never going to lose twenty pounds… Life speed is not my friend. Why are they barking at me? Are you still there? Well I’ll just walk away. Renew. Consistency is important considering lifestyle. Games. More games. Solitaire.
Quiet.
High moon.
I’m purposefully calling you to call back. Funerals back- stars game exchanging numbers. Rebuild memories - That way you don’t have to concentrate on one thing ten minutes later.
I ran
02.03.05 (9:21 pm) [edit]put a smile on my face embrace the unknown things i've never been shown waiting to be dethroned or phoned while the line is busy in a tizzy frizzy hair dare to hit the bed post mostly lust which can turn to dust thrust past the guess pest petty pretty ditty sounds in my ear when you say you care bear with me my heart is not blind but blinding when finding the perfect word absurd servitude girlitude cued by fantasy dance with me
Naps
12.20.04 (11:23 pm) [edit]Time to rest the brain as if on a train going and going but there is no train and no place to go and no higher meaning - just an imaginary foe or woe depending on the way you interpret life, through your strife, find a wife - Where is that need? Where does it come from? To get stranger everyday and think everyone is dumb.
Quiet time, put yourself at ease stop sorting the peas pickling your brain to be sane scratch off another to do impossible to rest when I know I'll never be through.
Contentment resentment resign resolve absolve solve the drama of my life and find happiness though it may be manic cause panic it will not pacify me dry or magnify my third eye.
Repent
12.20.04 (11:15 pm) [edit]My days of debauchery are lethargically lingering waiting to be stimulating. I may not make it a day more and I'm left with the blank floor - no cure for boredom, can't afford em. I wonder if it's still happy hour? at least I don't want power, nor do I like to shower after running an exciting race to keep fit after finding the world unkind and my organizer unkempt spent repent
Song yet to sing
12.20.04 (11:00 pm) [edit]Sit around the fireplace, think of nothing but your face. Silohuettes dancing in the dirt, autumn turns grey, nothing but hurt. Angels crying in the skies, ponds reflecting teary eyes.
Vanity, all is said and done. Vanity, and then there was none.
Embrace my ineptitude, new attitude. Break through, we're threw. Oh through and through, I'm through with you.
Vanity, all is said and done. Vanity, and then there were none.
Maggots
12.13.04 (10:08 pm) [edit]fraction of a fractured bone laid down next to a stone unknown unknowing of what will come to pass when it passes past its home lone no way to phone all the phony chums that look so glum while it hums up to heaven heathen of sky don't know if its a sty or a sign signed life away wanted to stay but had no choice no rejoice no lasting voice no rebirh or course to achieve final cause applause laws of nature told you she hated you
again
11.08.04 (2:59 pm) [edit]heart cracked but not broken some feelings unopened wrapped with a ribbon waiting to be given to you on anniversary week number two but I guess we won't make it til next Sunday aka our planned fun day of kissing and stroking while you're apparently choking on the love I express depressed - you or me? I thought we could be happy together of course not forever but at least we could have weathered the storm that past last Tuesday DOOMSDAY morn
CHOMP
10.18.04 (2:49 am) [edit]Chomp grit grind rind your peel around me peel my skin win my heart or never start saying things I want to hear overhear over here near next I beg you to begin to sin to throw away pretensions of what you thought were great inventions - a girl so pure, demure, BORING rings next to her earring really uncaring unlike me who wants to climb your tree and pee on the streets even if I'm not allowed no one will cloud my intention, my intervention prevention from a mundane plain weight gain stained bane of your existence.
romance II
10.18.04 (2:42 am) [edit]debating whether or not to commit or stop with the whining and the moaning the constant bestowing of my prize and I realize that maybe baby's not meant for me to be free to find the perfect man of mine kind unrefined finding his place in line up the scales of imperfection past rejection transcending self reflection affection supercedes and leads my heart to a new start of chutes and ladders where flattery is the key to the club pub mob of men who have the master plan
romance
10.18.04 (2:38 am) [edit]swiftly moving dancing flowing visions of my perception trancends the object of my affection and yields my fear of rejection objection my friend I can see you clearly through my own glazed eyes. You're surprised you don't believe me. How could I want you want for what you are? You don't think I know what you are bizarre I see you as a czar or a king singing your melodies freely in harmony with me and all I want is for us to just be together within ourselves, outside of ourselves and everyone can read us because we have nothing to hide and we don't mind being misunderstood because we have each other to misidentify and mystify the other
unsound
10.11.04 (1:21 am) [edit]running down past the ground rooted uproaring soaring pouring tea till the sun sets fetch me my stirring stick quick lick the popsicle around found a pounding heart does not seem to start unless its excited or invited to share in a happy day full of play stay content with myself and my shelf full of schedules lists of schools of thought ought not to smother myself with other people's health or what is considered healthiness what a mess depressed unzestfully clean incestually mean meaninglessly ineffectual unaffectable but detectably delectable.
tangy
09.15.04 (10:08 pm) [edit]That's fine you can just let everything turn sad and sour by the hour overpowering my seam which seems to be breaking the stakes are too high how are you as if you knew nothing note that pat on the back cracking down with stacked on frown from which I came whence I started this game.